Wednesday, November 13, 2013

"A Calvinist at the Pearly Gates"

A Calvinist arrives at St. Peter’s gates and sees that there are two queues going in. One is marked “predestined,” and the other is marked “free will.” Being the card-carrying Calvinist that he is, he strolls on over to the predestined queue. After several moments an angel asks him, “Why are you in this line?” He replies, “Because I chose it.” The angel looks surprised, “Well, if you ‘chose’ it, then you should be in the free will line.” So our Calvinist, now slightly miffed, obediently wanders over to the free will line. Again, after a few minutes, another angel asks him, “Why are you in this line?” He sullenly replies, “Someone made me come here.”

From Michael Bird's book: Evangelical Theology: A Biblical and Systematic Introduction

(HT:Trevin Wax)

Possibly Related Posts from the past

1. Men who go so high in doctrine.....
2. Three random but possibly related quotes I have read together in the past week.....



  2. This world's increasingly open and categorical denials of God and his power will likely be met not by retreats, compromises, edits, and revisions, but by awakenings and rediscoveries of the majesty and power of the true God, who reveals himself in the Bible, the God who made us and who will judge us, the God who in love pursued us even to the depths of the incarnation and the humiliation of the cross. This is Christianity straight and undiluted, and the questing, probing spirit of the rising generation has, by God's grace, found this rock. - Mark Dever

  3. If you are really concerned about people and also about children learning the truth, you'd preach the Doctrines of Grace. They are revolutionary. And you'd have the courage to expose weak and faulty theology.

  4. Election is for the glory of God, the humility of man, and the upsetting of all our pretensions about what we are owed. - Kevin DeYoung

    Election glorifies God more than thinking you chose Him - HE chose you, even though you didn't deserve it. If it makes a Calvinist smug - he doesn't understand what 'grace' means. Election should humble you, more than anything else.

  5. Far better to be a Calvinist or anyone who holds to true doctrine and is in pursuit of Truth and believes that there IS in fact ABSOLUTE truth.... contained in the Perfect Word of God. And how unfortunate to be so unsure of what you believe that your life is governed by the latest 'fad' in Christendom... How will they raise children with real Christian convictions who don't really believe in Absolute Truth? How will they explain the issues that come up everyday in life? How will they teach them about fidelity in marriage, sin, living a life that glorifies God - when they can twist and turn God's Word to 'accept' whatever lifestyle they want to live? You'll end up with a new generation who is even more confused than this one.

    And I sure don't want that for my kids.


  7. 'Counter-trend' would be to actually live contrary to popular culture - EVEN within evangelicalism. I don't know if people actually want to follow Jesus or if they just want to be popular?

  8. Actually all this matters very little in our day to day interactions with people. We live in the WORLD, where our usual defence mechanisms come back into play - which are far more important that the 'right' theology..... so make sure you're smart, organized, rich, powerful, winsome, charming, good-looking, talented, street-smart and able to argue your way out of anything 'sinful' - anyway possible.... Post-modernism RULES!!! :)

    Calvinism, theology and boring rules are for Losers! :D :P

  9. as long as you can live with it and nobody gets 'hurt' (even that doesn't matter!) - that's the real theology now! Nobody wants to be judged or told right from wrong. No 'sin', no guilt, no judgement, no hell, no punishment, no out-dated Biblical morality to be imposed on us to restrict us! That's the real theology that matters!