The "Other-Centred" Approach

A few days ago, I came across this interesting statistic. Apparently, there is record, in the gospels, of Jesus asking 307 questions to His disciples and followers. In contrast, He is asked 183 questions, of which he gives a clear answer to only 3. Even if these numbers are not precisely accurate, they do reveal a very interesting aspect of Jesus’ servant leadership. 

It seems that the Foot-washing episode at the Last Supper was only the culmination of a three-year servant-journey with these disciples, in which Jesus seems to have consistently demonstrated a “Disciple-centred” or “Disciple-focused” approach. Instead of taking a “Leader-centred” approach and telling his disciples how to take care of him and serve him better, (as many leaders do), Jesus kept asking the question, “How can I serve you better?”. Jesus’ leadership style was focused on the needs of the team as well as on the needs of the individual disciples. 

This approach seems to have characterised his teaching and mentoring style as well. Jesus knew that he had a short time within which to prepare his motley band of disciples for life and ministry after he was gone. There were two options: The traditional “Teacher-centred” or “Mentor-centred” approach, in which he could take regular classes for them, complete the curriculum, cover all the topics, answer all their questions, and give them plenty of advice, telling them clearly what to do. This may even have been the easier approach, with clear endpoints making it easier to say, “It is finished’ when the course was completed. 

Instead, Jesus chose to take the second option, and truly demonstrated “Student-centred learning” and “Mentee-centred mentoring”. He asked more questions that he answered, forcing listeners to think, reflect and grow in the process. We often think of Mentors as “Having all the right answers”, but Jesus demonstrated that the greatest mentors are those who “Ask the right questions”. He knew that ultimately this approach would be more effective. 

Some of his questions were designed to help listeners reflect on the new things they were learning. (“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?”) 

Some questions caused their confidence to grow. (“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”) 

Some were designed to initiate discussion. (“Who do people say that I am? ……..But what about you? Who do you say I am?”) 

Some questions were powerful, rhetorical, and heart-searching. (“What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?”) 

His questions demonstrated that he was not going to make assumptions but was willing to listen (like asking the blind man brought to him, “What do you want me to do for you?”) 

Unsurprisingly, this approach seems to have been most effective. After being filled with the Holy Spirit, these disciples became tough, resilient, capable, and ready to take on the world. Acts 4:13. Now as they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus. 

Let’s reflect together: What are the most effective “other-centred” strategies we need to adopt, in order to truly be “servant-leaders” who serve their teams and families well?